


Hollow

by talefeathers



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Gen, Godric's Hollow, Grief/Mourning, Halloween 1981
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 06:34:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6791095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talefeathers/pseuds/talefeathers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of how Sirius Black became the most feared prisoner in Azkaban.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hollow

Sirius felt a wave vertigo wash through him the moment Godric’s Hollow came into view. One whole side of the Potters’ house had crumbled to rubble. His knuckles turned white on the handlebars of his motorcycle while his stomach tightened itself into a horrible, gnawing knot.

He almost forgot how to land his bike, so intent was he on the wreckage. He brought it down clumsily, the impact when the wheels made contact with the ground sending a jolt through his entire body. He barely remembered to knock the kickstand into place before dismounting and sprinting toward the house.

“James?” he shouted, heart pounding in his ears. “Lily?”

He had just made it to the front drive when something massive edged its way past what was left of the front door. Sirius skidded to a halt.

“Hagrid,” he croaked.

Hagrid looked up. What little of his face was visible past his bushy beard was soaked with tears. Sirius almost didn’t notice the bundle he held cradled in his arms, so small was it in comparison to Hagrid’s girth. Another wave of vertigo. If that was little Harry…

“James?” The name barely made it past his windpipe. He cleared his throat and tried again. “James and Lily, they’re. Are they…?”

Hagrid didn’t answer; didn’t have to. The way he bowed his head and squeezed his eyes shut, the way his shoulders shook with new sobs. That said enough.

The world no longer felt at all solid. Sirius couldn’t seem to take enough breath to fill up his lungs; in fact, he didn’t seem to have lungs at all. There was a gap in his chest where they should have been, where his _heart_ should have been, and none of it was there. It had been gouged out and he couldn’t breathe in to replace it, he couldn’t _breathe --_

“There now,” Hagrid said gruffly, closing the distance between them and pulling him into a one-armed embrace, Harry still held securely in the other. Sirius felt so brittle that he practically fell into the larger man, allowing him to rub some feeling back into his arm.

“They didn’ die fer nothin’,” Hagrid said. “That’s more’n most can say.”

Sirius didn’t respond. He knew that Hagrid was right, but it didn’t stop this from feeling like the most pointless thing in the world. It didn’t stop everything from feeling empty. Broken.

He pulled his face out of the rough fabric of Hagrid’s coat and turned to look at Harry, fussing and squirming, blood drying on his tiny forehead. He was the one that Voldemort had wanted, Sirius reminded himself, and James and Lily had managed to keep him safe. While Harry lived, there was hope. He finally pulled a deep breath in through his nose, he set his jaw. He had to hold onto that.

“Give Harry to me, Hagrid,” he said, pulling himself the rest of the way out of the larger man’s hug. “I’m his godfather. I’ll look after him.”

“I’m sorry, Sirius,” he said, pulling Harry closer to him. “Really, I am. But I got me orders from Dumbledore. Harry’s to go to his aunt n’ uncle --”

 _“Lily’s_ sister?” Sirius yelped. “You’re joking. Have you seen what they’re like? They’ll try to stamp it out of him, they’ll _suffocate_ him, you can’t --!”

“I’ve got. Me orders,” Hagrid said, seeming to grow a couple inches as his eyes hardened.

Sirius ground his teeth together, but didn’t argue further. He hadn’t been able to protect his best friends, and he couldn’t protect their son now. What good was he to anyone? Hell, this whole thing was his fault, he should never have told them to use Peter --

The world fell back into sharp focus. All of a sudden, Sirius was very, very calm.

_Peter._

There was something he could do after all.

“Fine,” Sirius said, voice perfectly even for the first time that night. “In fact, go ahead and take my bike. It’s fast, reliable. And I won’t need it anymore.”

“I -- well,” Hagrid sputtered. “Are -- are ye sure?”

Sirius nodded.

“I’m sure. Take care, Hagrid.”

“Wait -- where’re ye goin’?”

Sirius didn’t answer. Only turned, drew his wand, and Apparated with a deafening crack.


End file.
